The Sunday Succulent - February 25, 2024
"Doorman" Dilemma
Bienvenidos to The Sunday Succulent.
Doorman Dilemma
Common sense tells us that if something embarrasses us, we stop doing that thing.
But I can't help myself.
Here, most of the doormen (and women) are digital. They are displayed on a large television monitor which overlooks the entrance.
And as far as one can discern personality through a screen, they're rather friendly.
Each time I enter, they greet me with a wave. And each time, I wave back.
The problem is, I'm pretty confident nobody's actually there. For multiple reasons, I believe they are pre-recorded, and the door opening triggers them to wave. I'm not 100% sure, but I am 51% sure.
This means that more likely than not, I am waving at an inanimate object each time I enter the building.
And every time I do, my sympathetic nervous system lights up my cheeks like a Christmas tree, and I curse myself for my foolishness.
Attribute it to my Midwestern upbringing, but in the less-than-likely chance there is a live person on the other side of that monitor, I can't and won't stop waving.
More Door-Related Mishaps
At the risk of spending too much digital real estate talking about digital doormen (and women), there was a brief moment this week when I was convinced they were a sham. Or at least not doing their job to serve and protect our building. (Although I still need to figure out how that would work.)
It was when I went to open my apartment door, and a man, clearly inside the apartment, began yelling.
I'll skip to the punchline: rather than walking up two flights of stairs to apartment 2D (my apartment), I had only walked up one flight to 1D (not my apartment).
I can think of no better on-the-spot language proficiency test than explaining why you're attempting to break and enter as the rightful occupant walks towards the door.
Do I use the preterite (fue) or imperfect (estaba) to represent 'I was'?
'To try' is 'intentar,' and 'ando' in Spanish is equivalent to 'ing' in English.
Ok, so 'Estaba intentando (I was trying)...'
Too much time has passed without me saying anything.
These thoughts went through my head in an interminable second.
At last, I succumbed to the tried and true "lo siento" and scrammed.
Observations
One of the more rewarding things that comes from writing The Succ is that it forces me to be more observant of what is happening around me.
To be clear, there is nothing groundbreaking here.
But daily, I feel more dialed in and perceptive to things I might otherwise miss.
Mrs. Officer(s). There appear to be two requirements to be a police officer here: 1) be a woman and 2) be attractive. The sight of a lady officer manhandling a drunk during the Super Bowl had me ready to act up.
'Buen dia' hit rate. Like waving to monitors, I can't help but tell people 'good day.' In Mexico, it was met with a 95%+ response rate. Here, it is closer to 40%. It just means I need to work harder.
Cocoliche. The Spanish spoken here could easily be confused with Italian. In Mexico, I could make out enough to get by OK in my day-to-day. Here, I can't understand a damn thing.
Walkability. Though massive, it's a highly walkable city. It's hard to imagine living anywhere that requires a car anytime soon.
No tacos, no problem. I love tacos. If I had to choose one food for the rest of my life, it would probably be tacos (the versatility!). But please don't worry about me. I can make do with steak and wine in the meantime.
Time warp. Yesterday, I got hungry at 6:00 pm. Big mistake. Every restaurant that looked good for dinner didn't open until 8:00 pm or later. As an attempt to throw them off my gringo scent and not be the first to arrive, I showed up at 8:30. Mission accomplished, I was second. The dinner rush, families and all, came as I was wrapping up around 9:30.
For those concerned, my new apartment is fantastic. I'm officially settled in.
Buenas noches and a great week ahead to all.
Ciao,
Sam